How Do I Lament Biblically?

November 24, 2020 Guest

We all have those days where nothing goes right. Or maybe even a whole year, right? We know we want and need to cry out to the Lord, but how do we still honor the Lord and cry out to Him in an honest and true way? Thankfully, the psalmists have given us the answer through biblical lament.

Over 50 of the 150 Psalms fall into the category of laments. We find patterns of lament through Job, Lamentations (hello the book is literally named after lamenting), Jeremiah, and throughout the minor prophets. Lamenting is a way that the saints of old brought their heartaches before the Lord, and we can do the same as well.

Lamenting isn’t something that we often do or see done well. Instead, we tend to complain, gripe, or even wallow—not lament. Most of us aren’t even sure what lamenting is.

What is Biblical Lament?

Biblical lament is a transformative understanding of God’s character and action in the midst of our sorrows and pain. Lament leads us from a state of hurt and hopelessness to a place of trust and praise.

When we lament, we are proving our determination to turn toward God and trust Him with our hurt instead of turning away from Him. We are praying as an act of faith.

Psalms of lament set before us a useful pattern of prayer. A pattern we can use in the hardest of times as well as the everyday moments.

How do Believers Lament?

These prayers are broken into four parts: problem, plea, praise, and personal vow.

Lamenting in this way isn’t a quick fix or bandage. It is meant to lead us before the Lord in an honest and real way that also honors Him.

1. State the Problem

The first part of lamenting is to bring our problem before the Lord.

Psalm 13:1-2 “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?”

Here David clearly laid out the problem. He brought his questions, burdens, and struggles before the Lord in an act of faith. He didn’t shy away from stating what was troubling his heart.

The very first problem David voiced is the feeling that the Lord wasn’t near. Before the physical problem was ever addressed, his heart’s cry was, “Lord I need you!!”

The authors of laments boldly stated their pressing physical needs, but they also weren’t afraid to lay out their very real need to know the Lord was near. Yes, there was an enemy trying to kill David, but David also desired to know the Lord was with him.

In Psalm 10, the author listed a whole host of problems—villages being ambushed, the innocent being murdered, the helpless being crushed. These were pressing problems, and he wasn’t shy or timid to say, “Lord look at what is happening!” He laid it all out before the Lord.

In the same way, we are to approach the throne and bring our burdens and hurts before the Lord.

2. Make a Plea

But the writers didn’t stop there; they moved onto asking for the Lord’s help. They were making a plea.

This plea isn’t like the kid begging for candy at the checkout aisle. We are talking about a humble boldness before the throne of God that asks Him to intercede.

This step makes it impossible to separate our plea from our belief of who God is. We ask boldly for His help because we believe Him to be a good Father who cares and hears our cries. If we do not believe in the kindness of God, and his steadfast love for His people, then we will not bring our pleas before Him.

Mark Vroegop wrote “Despair lives under the hopeless resignation that God doesn’t care, he doesn’t hear, and nothing is ever going to change.” As believers, we know he is a good Father and we have a great Savior. So we do not have to live in despair!

Just as with the problem, the plea is often two fold. In Psalm 13, David’s two pleas went with the two problems that he brought before the Lord.

In verses 3-4, David pleaded for God’s presence, and he pleaded for God’s answer to the physical threat on his life.

Laments invite us to meet with Jesus. Hebrews 4: 16 tells us to approach the throne “in our time of need.” With this invitation, we are moving in a forward direction—away from the questions of why and toward who we place our trust and future in.

3. Praise

When we come to the praise part of our prayer pattern, we have already told God our problem, and we have asked Him to help.

Lamenting is often a journey—a long journey depending on what the heartache is. But the aim is to keep moving forward. We cannot get stuck on the problem or the plea.

The writers of the lament Psalms intentionally changed the direction of their thoughts by shifting the heart’s focus from their pain to God’s faithfulness.

Psalm 13:5 “But I have trusted in your steadfast love”
Psalm 10:16, 17 “The Lord is king forever and ever...O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted”
Psalm 22: 3 “Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.”

These verses reveal what the author is trusting in: God’s steadfast love, His sovereignty, His faithfulness to the afflicted, His holiness.

This step praises God for who He is and who He has always been. As believers, we have a personal history with our God and Savior. You have seen him work in your life. You have experienced His faithfulness, His forgiveness, and His kindness. It is in this history, as well as in the biblical history of His faithfulness to all His people over the years, that we lean into and praise as we lament.

Romans 8:38-39 reminds us we can not be separated from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. If we cling to and believe this truth, we can keep moving through lament even in the midst of the pain and sorrow.

Let us not forget these authors weren’t writing once the problem was gone or solved (those are called thanksgiving Psalms). These psalms are being prayed in the midst of the hurt and pain.

4. Make a Personal Vow

The last step of lament is a personal vow. Because we trust in the Lord’s character and His actions, we can commit to put our faith in action—even despite the circumstances.

The Psalmists make vows such as these:

“my heart shall rejoice in your salvation” (Psalm 13:5)
“I will tell of your name to my brothers, in the midst of the congregation I will praise you.” (Psalm 22:22)
“I will remember the deeds of the Lord, yes, I will remember your wonders of old.” (Psalm 77:11)

Remember: this vow is made in the midst of lamenting. We aren’t waiting for God to fix everything before trusting and living for Him. No, we walk in faith despite the circumstances.

Even if God doesn’t answer the way we want we still commit to walk in faith. We praise God and tell others of His faithfulness, His steadfast love, and His wonders of old even while we wait. Even while we hurt.

We must process through laments without stopping or skipping over any one point. We must take time to walk through the steps however quickly or slowly it takes.

However, this pattern doesn’t have to be saved to use only for the big burdens of life. This prayer pattern can be put into practice for everyday moments.

For example, “Lord this is a hard day as we are stuck inside because of Covid and rain, and the children are fighting and driving each other crazy. Please Lord, help to bring peace to my home, and give me wisdom to lead well. I know you are faithful to me and that you are a good Father. I will remember your faithfulness, and I will tell my children of your goodness.”

See how this simple pattern can be put into practice daily?

As we practice this pattern of lament on a daily basis, it trains our hearts to be ready for when life changing heartache strikes.

Let us learn from the writers of the lament Psalms. Let’s pray in a way that will lead us from despair to hope, from heartbreak to praise, and from loneliness to knowing the presence of our Father.

Mary Kathryn Lassetter lives in North Carolina with her husband and three children. She enjoys serving on her church's Women’s Ministry Team where she teaches and creates classes for women. She is also a bit of a nerd for history, baking, movies, and the outdoors.

Union Baptist Association