Teams are going to fail. And that failure can be devastating, disheartening, or frightening. It is also inevitable. If you are committed to innovation, if you take on God-sized tasks, if you go “where no one has gone before,” you are sometimes going to fail in a particular initiative. As painful as it may be, the failure in itself is unimportant in the grand scheme of things. God’s purposes will not be ultimately thwarted. What you learn from that failure is what is important.

In previous articles, we talked about the foundation of a healthy team and the core of an effective team. This time, we're diving deeper into the concept of dialogue to discuss how healthy, effective teams learn from failure. No team ever desires nor plans to fail, but they're also not afraid of failure either. A healthy, effective team leverages the learning from a failure to gain increased strength and momentum toward the achievement of the vision.

They see the bigger picture.

What Learning Isn't

Imagine this scenario. There's a team that's spiritually vital and in touch with God. They are deeply committed to a shared vision and are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses. They trust in their team members to have their back. They value the contribution that each individual brings. They share equally in decisions and responsibilities. All this is in place. They embark on a big, bold adventure. They fail. Now, what happens?

If all these elements are truly in place, there are several things that don’t happen.

They don’t make excuses. They don’t point blame at one another. They don’t try to discover whose fault it is They don’t yell at one another or accuse one another. They don’t have private side conversations about whose fault it “really” is.

They aren’t afraid the leader is going to yell at them. They aren’t afraid they are going to get fired—or worse, publicly humiliated. Why? Because they know that failures will occur on the journey to accomplish great things for God. They know that the important thing is to learn from the failure and they trust one another to do that.

Dialogue vs. Discussion

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One of the best tools for learning from team failure is dialogue. It is placed toward the top of the pyramid of the highly effective team because true dialogue is almost impossible to achieve without the other foundational and core elements of team firmly in place.

For our purposes here, it is important to distinguish between dialogue and discussion. Discussion suggests a back and forth exchange that does not include the depth or potential of true dialogue. The term originates from a Latin root meaning “to dash to pieces, to agitate.”

James 1:19 describes the type of conversations that effective teams need. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry . . .” (NIV). This is the essence of dialogue that is productive and results in learning that moves us forward. A discussion may devolve into a competitive argument. Instead of actually listening and reflecting on what the other person has to say, each person uses that time to think about what he or she is going to say next.

Some may speak quickly without giving thought to the impact or accuracy of their words. They make assumptions about what the other person means or believes without asking any questions to clarify and close their minds to the possibility that their own assumptions could be inaccurate. They argue their own position and berate the other person for theirs. Emotions escalate. People become angry. Nothing is accomplished. Nothing is learned.

“To dash to pieces, to agitate” becomes a sadly accurate description of what has occurred. If your “team” meetings end with everyone agitated and someone having to pick up the pieces, go back to square one and evaluate what elements of team are missing or need to be strengthened.

True Dialogue

Dialogue, in contrast, involves careful listening, suspended assumptions, thoughtful questions, and honest responses. Team members who value diversity and fully trust one another are able to engage in dialogue that is an honest and respectful exchange of thoughts, ideas, and perspectives. Your purpose may be to solve a problem, overcome a challenge, or embrace a new perspective. True dialogue greatly enhances the potential to learn from failure and apply what you've learned to future bold initiatives.

Dialogue is a positive, purposeful communication. Emotions need not escalate because the purpose is to address the challenge not to attack the person. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

A team that engages in honest, respectful, thoughtful dialogue will find that learning is a natural fruit that results. It is hard work. We frequently need to be reminded that unhealthy discussion leads to broken pieces while dialogue leads us to the way forward. A team that perseveres in this process will learn.

The Unnatural Response

Ultimately, the final element of the effective team, the point of the pyramid, is learning. Without learning there is no change, no growth, no improvement, and no success. It is essential to guard against anything that inhibits learning.

The fear of failure is a primary inhibitor of learning and is very difficult to overcome. Our culture, businesses, and often churches have little mercy for those who fail. Individually or organizationally, we feel embarrassed and ashamed following failure. Our tendency is to hide it or downplay it. Rarely is our first impulse to lay it out on the table and examine it. Yet, it is in this process that failure produces learning.

The culture within the team must embrace the positive aspects of failure. A team culture with strong elements of shared vision and trust will have space for failure. Failure will not be punished but will be engaged as a way to discern what must be changed and improved for the next successful action. I have a poster with a quote from Thomas Edison that says, “I have not failed. I have discovered 10,000 ways that don’t work.” That approach to failure will encourage a team to embrace every setback as an opportunity to learn.

What Stands in Your Way?

There are subtler elements of any culture that can inhibit learning. A strong work ethic is a positive thing—unless people feel that gathering to evaluate, reflect, and dialogue about something “takes too much time.” This results in a lot of people being very busy doing some good things on their own without learning anything from others or contributing to the development of others. If the culture is a cautious culture, team members who are more innovative, creative, or risk-tolerant may be criticized or feel restricted.

It is possible that change may be happening too fast. People not only feel out of control; they also feel unable to process and respond to the changes appropriately. We all resist change that we perceive as causing us loss or harm. Many of us will be skeptical of change that we can not yet confirm as positive or beneficial. Leaders must be aware that even the best of teams may need a little extra time to process during times of extreme change.

What may not be as readily apparent, is that success can be just as detrimental to change as any of these other things. You’re probably familiar with the phrase, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” When teams experience failure or resistance to change, this presents a situation that gets our attention. Ongoing success is more subtle. Success doesn’t really produce its own catalyst for change. Our tendency is to keep doing what is working without taking time to reflect on how it might be changed to yield even greater results for the Kingdom.

A truly effective team must be diligent to guard against all things that inhibit learning.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Dian Kidd was UBA's Associate Director and served UBA for almost 30 years. She guided the day-to-day team actions as team leader for UBA's consultant team and oversaw daily implementation of data management, communications, strategy, and inner-office workings.