Recognizing and Dealing With Stress in Ministry

UBA’s Resilient Gatherings are a time for ministry leaders to eat, discuss leadership topics, and learn how to be more resilient in ministry.

This article is a summary of our January Resilient Gathering, where Stuart Rothberg spoke about ministry stress from his 50+ years of experience as a pastor, chaplain, and non-profit worker. Watch the video here for the full talk.

In ministry, we should expect a certain level of stress. After all, ministry is hard and relationships can be messy. However, some circumstances can heighten the level of ministry stress.

Common Ministry Stressors:

1. Ministering outside of your area of gifting 

Think through your primary and secondary areas of ministry gifting. As ministers, we're often called to serve outside of our areas of gifting. That is normal.

However, when you are asked to serve outside of your area of gifting for a prolonged period of time, it brings abnormal emotional and physical fatigue. Serving in your gifting is hard but brings life and excitement. That kind of stress can be overcome with a nap.

Senior pastors are often called beyond their gifting, but resilient leaders should seek to delegate what is outside of their wheelhouse.

2. A too-narrow interpretation of the call into ministry

When we think about church leadership, we often think about the senior pastor but there are plenty of ways to live out a call to ministry. It's not always the lead position. Leadership skills increase the possibility that a person will do well in a leadership capacity, and they'll have the lowest levels of stress in the ministry. 

Often many men without the gift of leadership are leading churches. Maybe we should consider how we can teach about the call to ministry. Just because you're called to ministry doesn't mean you need to be the senior pastor or leader. 

3. Ministering in complicated relational environments

Because of the issues in our culture, more unstable people are coming to our churches. Emotional and relational dysfunction is reaching a height, and it's no longer enough to know Greek and Hebrew and be able to preach the Bible. People expect so much more of church leaders. 

2 Cor 4:5 tells us that we are the bondservants for Jesus' sake—not a bondservant for whatever agenda church members may have for us.

The expectations church members have for pastors might seem reasonable when looked at alone, but the composite of these expectations can weigh heavily on us. We've become plate spinners and every member is handing us a new plate. 

That's not leadership. That's seeking to please people. You're servants, yes. But not for their sake, for Jesus' sake. You will get grace to spin the plates that Jesus gives you, not the ones that people give you. When we release the need to please-please, we can serve God well and shepherd the people in our congregation.

4. Mishandling criticism and complaints

Complaints often come from unmet expectations people have for you—whether warranted or unwarranted. People transfer unresolved issues and wounds they have from their biological parents, specifically their fathers, onto pastors and leaders in the church. When you recognize the spillover of these expectations, it'll relieve a little of that pressure. 

Frequently, the issue that people have and the complaints they bring up are not the real issue. A church split may masquerade as a theological issue, but it's usually something deeper—maybe an certain demographic feeling left out or overlooked. Complaints are the adult version of cries for help.

If you can't solve a problem through a rational process, the problem is usually emotional. Take care to handle emotional problems gently instead of merely problem-solving.

5. Getting distracted from your own spiritual condition 

Acts 20:28 tells leaders to be on guard for yourself and for the flock. When our spiritual condition is atrophied, we're likely to stumble in all kinds of ways.

Dealing With Ministry Stress

3 Diagnostic questions from Dr. David Boyd: 

1. How am I feeling today? Am I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?

   If your answer is yes to one or more, you'll be vulnerable to making poor decisions.

2. Who am I? 

   You're a child of the King, who is called to be near to Christ. In Mark 3:14, we read that Jesus appointed twelve that they would be with him. After first being with Him, they would be called out to preach.

3. What am I trying to do? 

   This question helps us remember to see the call, keep focused on what's ahead, and look to Jesus for all we need.

What are your expectations for ministry? 

Since most of us aren't going to have quantitative measurements of success, we'll always be stressed if that's our measure of success. Instead, let's look to more qualitative ways of measuring how we're doing.

Interested in more on leader resilience? Terry Walling will be speaking on the 6 Postures for Christ Followers in Uncertain Seasons at our next gathering on April 20. More info below.