Over the past several months of counseling and conversations with men and women in ministry, there is a very common theme that continues to surface. One particular sentiment seems to be voiced in almost every conversation—”I’m tired.”
Aren’t we all?
To not be tired in a season like this would almost be, un-human. And 100% of pastors are human.
We’re tired of wearing a mask. Tired of people not wearing masks. Tired of protests, riots, and looting. Tired of injustice. Tired of the political polarization plaguing all media outlets. Tired of online schooling. Tired of homeschooling for the first time. Tired of all the people over crowding your secret outdoor vacation getaway. Tired of Zooming. Tired of technology failures. Tired of bouncing between work, parenting, work, parenting, work, marriage, sleep (kind of), and do it all over again. Tired of not knowing when all this will end.
In the midst of all this, pastors have been faced with another struggle. One that has been there all along but is actually being forced out of the mouths of church members from the weariness of their own souls. We struggle with how we’re not able to please everyone.
In my conversation with a pastor this morning, I could hear the disappointment and discouragement in his voice as he shared with me some of the things people have said to him and his wife over the past month. Some things should have been voiced months ago. Some things placed demands, weights, and pressure upon him that are not his to carry. Other things = ate away at his genuine love for his people, inflicted deep wounds to his soul, and placed a temptation in front of him to question his calling and consider walking away from ministry.
At one point, he expressed feeling like a product for people to consume instead of a human pastor to lead. When his people are dissatisfied, they treat him like a customer service representative by voicing their disappointment then moving on to a better product.
But being a pastor is not a profession. It’s a calling—an authority. It’s a particular gifting placed upon our lives by God for the glory of God and the good of people. It should be driven by love—both for God and for people. To be treated as a product to be consumed for specific needs then tossed out when dissatisfied, cuts deep.
We could almost say it’s dehumanizing.
In some ways, it communicates to the pastor that they should be more than human—or at least something other than human. Some of the things being said to pastors during this season are not only cutting and dehumanizing, they also border on vindictive and mean as some blame pastors for things that are beyond their control. And this often comes from people who are called by God themselves to walk in love, forgiveness, empathy, and grace.
Over the next month, Better Days will be running a series called “100% of Pastors….” It will address the humanity of pastors and offer biblical hope and perspective on the pastorate.
When reading the stats on pastors and ministers who have left the ministry or struggled in their call, it can be a bit discouraging. At the very least, it’s a bit sobering. However, these statistics serve as reminders to pray for our brothers and sisters serving in ministry. Stats like 52% of pastors report feeling lonely and isolated from others. Or 2/3 of pastors are at a medium to high risk of struggling spiritually. Or 76% of pastors know at least one other pastor who left ministry due to burnout.
Our hope in the “100% of pastors…” series reminds the world of the humanity of pastors. I hope it reminds us all that even though ministry leaders carry a unique spiritual weight in the church and are gifted by God with a unique spiritual office, they are still people who have feelings and face struggles just like everyone else.
All of these stats are 100% accurate and are pulled from the great survey of the human experience that started in Genesis chapter 3. As you read them, we hope you are reminded to pray for, to love, and to be kind to those who have been called to “keep watch over your soul.” (Heb. 13:17)
Rejoice,
Jeremy
Jeremy McQuown is the executive director of BetterDays, a ministry that provides counseling and spiritual care for pastors and ministry leaders. He has worked with BetterDays for the past 9 years and has served as a missionary, pastor, and counselor for almost 20 years. He is a husband to his wife Sarah and a grateful dad to 3 beautiful children.
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Certain pressures accompany the role of pastoral ministry. If pastors don't have a way to relieve that pressure, their world can easily become dark, lonely, and isolated. It's similar to the one in the pool with their eyes closed calling out “Marco!" But they find no one to respond.