Remember that old summertime pool game, Marco Polo? The one where one person closes their eyes and starts walking around the pool trying to find and tag the other players? It’s a game like hide-and-seek mixed with tag.
The catch is that the “it” person has to keep their eyes closed while yelling “Marco!” When “Marco” is yelled, the other players must respond by yelling back “Polo!” The “Marco” player then journeys around the pool trying to find the other players based upon where he hears their “Polo” response.
Pastors, don’t be afraid to cry out if you feel isolated, alone, and in the dark.
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Pastor Polo
I was thinking about this game and how it related to pastors. I am a pastor. I work with pastors. I’m continually growing in my understanding of the challenges that pastors face. I have worked with church leaders who have been burnt out. I have worked with others who were caught in sin. I have also worked with some that just needed some encouragement and support. In them all, I have seen the humanness of the pastor.
In our culture today, it’s easy to dehumanize pastors and ministry leaders. Especially in the midst of times like these. There’s often an expectation laid upon them to have all the answers. An expectation for them to be perfect and to lead perfectly.
“Trying to lead people, to pastor people, to care for people in our own efforts is a slippery slope into the darkness and isolation.”
Pressure begins to build—pressure to perform, the pressure to please. There's pressure for pastors to be more for people than they can or should be.
If that tension get’s too tight, a pastor's world can become very dark, lonely, and isolated. Similar to the one in the pool with their eyes closed calling out “Marco!" But they find no one to respond.
Leaders Need Support, Too
Most pastors truly desire to lead well and set a good example for others. They desire to make wise decisions while guiding the church towards a deeper and faithful relationship with this holy God. When the pressures and expectations of others begin to overwhelm, it’s easy for pastors to begin to lean heavily on their own efforts. They give in to others' expectations.
Trying to lead people, to pastor people, to care for people in our own efforts is a slippery slope into the darkness and isolation. It’s slight, subtle, and usually unsuspecting and can be an overwhelming burden. In those moments, it’s easy to lose sight of the power of God given for us in the work of Christ on the cross.
It can become a vicious cycle that leads to feeling alone and in the dark. Wanting to cry out for help, but fearing the repercussions. Wanting the burden to be removed but not knowing how to remove it. Longing to not have to be perfect anymore, but having no faith that God is the only perfect one. He paid the price for our redemption and makes us holy only by the blood of Christ.
We want to cry out “Marco!” but are afraid there will be no response.
It's moments like these, as difficult as it is, we need to stop everything and cry out “Marco!” Then, we must wait. We must be still. We must stop floundering around in the dark trying to find anything to help. We must listen for the response, “Polo!” and then start moving.
Gospel-Centered Care
The good news is, that’s exactly what God has done for us in Christ!
As we stood in the dark, alone, searching; and we cried out “Marco!” God bellowed back an eternal “Polo!” that shouted more than just “here I am.” It was a proclamation to us that not only is He near, but also that He is coming to us.
He is coming to rescue us. To save us from the darkness and isolation. To remove the burden of perfection from our shoulders. To relieve us from the unhealthy struggle to pretend and perform for others in order for them to perceive us as something that we are not.
“Pastors, lay down the burden, open the door, reveal the true you, and cry out to God.”
He sent Christ to find us, free us, and redeem us to Himself.
Pastors, don’t be afraid to cry out “Marco!” if you feel isolated, alone, and in the dark. If you feel you have been wrongly placed on a pedestal and cannot carry the weight of perfection anymore. STOP!
Lay down the burden, open the door, reveal the true you, and cry out to God. He will hear you. He will respond. He will find you. He will meet you in the place of your brokenness. (Isaiah 57:15)
Church members, if you hear a pastor crying out, respond to them. Let them clearly hear your “Polo!” Let them know you are there. Then run to them with urgency and with the powerful, life-altering, burden-relieving, wound-healing, life-transforming, grace of Jesus. Remind them that the burden is not theirs to carry. (Gal. 6:2)
Jesus carried it for us.
Jeremy McQuown is the executive director of BetterDays, a ministry that provides counseling and spiritual care for pastors and ministry leaders. He has worked with BetterDays for the past 9 years and has served as a missionary, pastor, and counselor for almost 20 years. He is a husband to his wife Sarah and a grateful dad to 3 beautiful children.
Let’s put aside time and convenience to embrace a desperation for God.